Breaking Yawn

Let me be fair to this book by beginning with the book’s good points:

 

  • It has a lovely cover

 

And… that’s where it stops. I don’t know… Maybe I could say that at least it gets girls reading who might not normally read. And maybe they’ll be willing to try reading something new. Something better. One can only hope.

I have to admit, I almost enjoyed reading the first two books in the series in spite of the atrocious writing. And really, I could go on and on about how bad the writing is, but read the post by this blogger instead. He sums it all up for me.

As far as the fourth installment in this series goes, I actually kind of feel bad for Stephenie Meyer. I think this poor melodramatic Mormon girl got in way over her head. I think she really wanted to write a book that would satisfy her ravenous pre-teen fans, but the thing is, there is no story here. 

The plot is preposterous and deeply gynophobic (it’s a word). Meyers completely abandons a number of her key characters for convenience sake, while she desperately attempts to cobble together an earth-shattering dramatic final battle– which is in essence, a vaguely tense conversation.

Seriously.

All the impresario of the vampire world come together because Bella and Edward have broken some vampire code. But it’s all actually just a big misunderstanding.

So it’s okay.

Everyone goes home.

The end.

And is it just me or does Meyers make being a teen mom seem surprisingly easy? I mean–once you get past the whole “vampire baby chews its way out of your womb” thing. Bella doesn’t really seem to have to do anything with the baby. No feeding. No diaper changes. No sleepless nights. Gosh how wonderful. I need to get me a half-vampire baby.

I just feel that whatever deeper issues Meyers initially intended to explore (stop laughing), such as Bella’s relationship with Edward, with her parents, the Jacob/Bella/Edward love triangle, the idea of immortality and missing out on what makes us human, were just forgotten in the desperate attempt to feed her ravenous fans.

Joss Whedon needs to sit down and have a long talk with this woman.

If you’re interested in this train wreck of teen fiction. I would like to refer you to Meyer’s very own deeply self-indulgent website.

Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer

I’m not actually sure I like this series. Like may not be the right word. I’m interested in it though. I take issue with young adult novels (and any novel for that matter) whose plots seem to revolve around a clumsy and helpless heroine who requires constant saving by males with superpowers.I mean, she falls down all the time and faints when she sees blood, and what’s with everybody deciding she must be picked up and carried around like a baby? The girl is seventeen in the first book!I also take issue with phrases like “impossibly beautiful” in reference to a male character. It’s just… so icky and over the top. And really… sparkly skin?  Come on! I think I might start ranting. Maybe I don’t like these books at all, and yet I’m strangely compelled by its darkly impossible beauty. Ugh! So see for yourself. Here’s the author’s website, which quite frankly reads like a melodramatic myspace page.   Pretty covers though.