Breaking Yawn

Let me be fair to this book by beginning with the book’s good points:


  • It has a lovely cover


And… that’s where it stops. I don’t know… Maybe I could say that at least it gets girls reading who might not normally read. And maybe they’ll be willing to try reading something new. Something better. One can only hope.

I have to admit, I almost enjoyed reading the first two books in the series in spite of the atrocious writing. And really, I could go on and on about how bad the writing is, but read the post by this blogger instead. He sums it all up for me.

As far as the fourth installment in this series goes, I actually kind of feel bad for Stephenie Meyer. I think this poor melodramatic Mormon girl got in way over her head. I think she really wanted to write a book that would satisfy her ravenous pre-teen fans, but the thing is, there is no story here. 

The plot is preposterous and deeply gynophobic (it’s a word). Meyers completely abandons a number of her key characters for convenience sake, while she desperately attempts to cobble together an earth-shattering dramatic final battle– which is in essence, a vaguely tense conversation.


All the impresario of the vampire world come together because Bella and Edward have broken some vampire code. But it’s all actually just a big misunderstanding.

So it’s okay.

Everyone goes home.

The end.

And is it just me or does Meyers make being a teen mom seem surprisingly easy? I mean–once you get past the whole “vampire baby chews its way out of your womb” thing. Bella doesn’t really seem to have to do anything with the baby. No feeding. No diaper changes. No sleepless nights. Gosh how wonderful. I need to get me a half-vampire baby.

I just feel that whatever deeper issues Meyers initially intended to explore (stop laughing), such as Bella’s relationship with Edward, with her parents, the Jacob/Bella/Edward love triangle, the idea of immortality and missing out on what makes us human, were just forgotten in the desperate attempt to feed her ravenous fans.

Joss Whedon needs to sit down and have a long talk with this woman.

If you’re interested in this train wreck of teen fiction. I would like to refer you to Meyer’s very own deeply self-indulgent website.